« Home

Lance Armstrong to run the New York marathon

We admire Lance's moment of truthfulness in admiting that he's only running to fill the gaping void in his life rather than to raise money for charity. What with all the time he's spent hanging around with George W. Bush and chatting to Jay Leno, it's quite satisfying that he's made a return to "selfish bastard" form.

But filling the devasting emptiness with SPORT? Ex-professional cyclists are supposed to fill their hollow, tattered lives with frame-building, binge-eating or being fucking hermits, not SPORT. This only emphasises our belief that Lance isn't a proper cyclist at all.

Derailed suspects that Lance will pay eight other runners to pace him at the front, before running the final 15 metres alone. Seven times. Until everybody is so fucking bored of him winning it that they start inventing drug charges just to make him go away.


Recent vitriol


Which cyclists have we libelled this month?

Some old updates that aren't entirely awful


And there'll be even more coming to this spot just as soon as we can be bothered trawling through our somewhat embarrassing archives.

Simon and Anthony


Nigel and company


Johnathan & friends, even though they're always last with the news and the website is horrible


Dutch cyclists we like because they're better/more attractive than British riders

Bobke Strut is so good that it deserves a category of its own

Arrr, bike pirates

George!

Things we hate so much we're not even going to link to them

  • Trust But Verify
  • Trek
  • Assos

Our e-mail inbox isn't just for Japanese gambling promotions and the latest advances in penis enlargement chemistry, you know

What's the word "derailed" got to do with bikes anyway?

  • Err... bikes have things called derailleurs? Apart from track bikes, which don't.

If derailleurs evolved from fixies, how come there are still fixies?

  • Survival of the fixest.


XML/RSS feed
Livejournal feed (actually works now)


DerailedUK 2006-2007.
All words, images and flashing things are the work of DerailedUK unless otherwise stated. However, all content is free from copyright -- use and manipulate at will. Unless you're from Cycling Weekly, in which case it's £50 for every word you plagiarise, including "a", "the", and "and". The opinions expressed on this website do not neccessarily reflect the opinions of you or anybody you know. If anything you've read on here has antagonised you, do get in touch -- we're always up for a giggle.