The DerailedUK media awards 2006 part one
Published by Halverde on 11/03/2006 at 12:16.
It's that time of year again. That time when cycling journalists have to think of things to write about whilst there are no races going on. Stop complaining, this still beats the weekly ride around the Peak District that other publications are inflicting on you.
Because it's our first year, the award ceremony is very no frills at the moment. But we've already arranged next year's awards, which will be a glitzy event with celebrity guests and presented by none other than Anthony McCrossan. (Anthony, we'll talk.)
Without further ado:
Best descent from Cycling Weekly's most popular writer to racist old man ranting about Muslims and immigrants
The winner is... Tony Bell
Testing our patience to the maximum, Tony turned from ocassionally amusing journalist to constantly irritating racist in a matter of months. It's a bit like when we heard about Mel Gibson ranting about Jews, but worse because we actually liked Tony Bell beforehand. Rumour has it he's going back to the comic soon, so hopefully he'll come full circle and give up on calling veiled women Daleks. And if not, hopefully a woman in a niqab will find it in herself to exterminate him.
Best deer-in-headlights Tour de France commentary
The winner is... Phil Ligget and Paul Sherwen
Having discovered the lucrative American market, Phil and Paul set about attempting to mention Lance Armstrong in every single sentence they uttered, regardless of context. But Phil and Paul had put all their eggs in one basket, and banked on the Tour de Lance being an endless phenomenon. This year's perplexing, stuttering commentary in the absence of Armstrong made them appear way out of their depth, and will stand as a demonstration of the reasons why aiming for impartial, intelligent coverage is much better than chasing after dollar signs.
Best promotional tactic
The winner is... Oscar Pereiro
Technically, Floyd's current PR campaign is the biggest the sport has ever seen, but Oscar raced a camel. This should set a whole new precedent for all kinds of human/animal races -- we're desperately hoping to see a ferret beat Bradley Wiggins in next year's Tour prologue.
Tomorrow:
Part two. Or whatever.
Because it's our first year, the award ceremony is very no frills at the moment. But we've already arranged next year's awards, which will be a glitzy event with celebrity guests and presented by none other than Anthony McCrossan. (Anthony, we'll talk.)
Without further ado:
Best descent from Cycling Weekly's most popular writer to racist old man ranting about Muslims and immigrants
The winner is... Tony Bell
Testing our patience to the maximum, Tony turned from ocassionally amusing journalist to constantly irritating racist in a matter of months. It's a bit like when we heard about Mel Gibson ranting about Jews, but worse because we actually liked Tony Bell beforehand. Rumour has it he's going back to the comic soon, so hopefully he'll come full circle and give up on calling veiled women Daleks. And if not, hopefully a woman in a niqab will find it in herself to exterminate him.
Best deer-in-headlights Tour de France commentary
The winner is... Phil Ligget and Paul Sherwen
Having discovered the lucrative American market, Phil and Paul set about attempting to mention Lance Armstrong in every single sentence they uttered, regardless of context. But Phil and Paul had put all their eggs in one basket, and banked on the Tour de Lance being an endless phenomenon. This year's perplexing, stuttering commentary in the absence of Armstrong made them appear way out of their depth, and will stand as a demonstration of the reasons why aiming for impartial, intelligent coverage is much better than chasing after dollar signs.
Best promotional tactic
The winner is... Oscar Pereiro
Technically, Floyd's current PR campaign is the biggest the sport has ever seen, but Oscar raced a camel. This should set a whole new precedent for all kinds of human/animal races -- we're desperately hoping to see a ferret beat Bradley Wiggins in next year's Tour prologue.
Tomorrow:
Part two. Or whatever.
