Animals On Bikes Campaign official launch
Published by Halverde on 1/16/2007 at 16:24.
That's it. Humans are boring cheaters who spend their wealth on rubbish cars and designer jeans. It's time we had new heroes. Ones who won't do a photoshoot standing in front of their PlayStation 3, surrounded by glittering trophies, explaining how this will be their year before crashing out of the Tour in the first week and finishing 27th in the Worlds. It's time we had heroes who don't take the latest pharmaceutical designer drugs and aren't interested in marrying supermodels. Who don't care if their bottle cage is made of carbon fibre or titanium. It's time we had heroes who may very well eat one another. Who don't shave their legs.
It's time for animals to ride bikes.
There are no stupid "praying mantis" positions when animals ride bikes. Unless the animal is a praying mantis, obviously.
Road races are exciting, right? Well... sometimes. Just imagine how much better it could be if there were feathers flying everywhere on those dull flat stages.
BMXes are still complete bollocks though. Men with cat heads make the whole thing only slightly more tolerable.
How to get involved
It's easy -- just send us real photographs, Photoshopped images or crude slash fictions involving animals on bikes. Anything, really, even if it means being a little bit cruel to your goldfish. We'll take care of the RSPCA. If someone can find us a real image of two horses riding a tandem, or do a pixel-perfect Photoshop of a giant milipede riding a peloton's worth of bikes, then we'll consider the campaign to have been a huge success.
What's in it for you?
None of that rubbish wrist-band stuff. That's SO 2004. Instead, we've got literally HUNDREDS of Animals On Bikes Campaign spoke cards to give away.
Spoke cards are better than wristbands because:
Permanent link to this page here. Tell everyone you know that you're no longer tolerating boring humans. Together, we can change cycle sport forever.
It's time for animals to ride bikes.
There are no stupid "praying mantis" positions when animals ride bikes. Unless the animal is a praying mantis, obviously.
Road races are exciting, right? Well... sometimes. Just imagine how much better it could be if there were feathers flying everywhere on those dull flat stages.
BMXes are still complete bollocks though. Men with cat heads make the whole thing only slightly more tolerable.
How to get involved
It's easy -- just send us real photographs, Photoshopped images or crude slash fictions involving animals on bikes. Anything, really, even if it means being a little bit cruel to your goldfish. We'll take care of the RSPCA. If someone can find us a real image of two horses riding a tandem, or do a pixel-perfect Photoshop of a giant milipede riding a peloton's worth of bikes, then we'll consider the campaign to have been a huge success.
What's in it for you?
None of that rubbish wrist-band stuff. That's SO 2004. Instead, we've got literally HUNDREDS of Animals On Bikes Campaign spoke cards to give away.
Spoke cards are better than wristbands because:
- They actually have something to do with cycling
- George W Bush doesn't have one
- They make people think that you ride alley cat races
- If you collect enough of them you can make a cheap disc wheel
Permanent link to this page here. Tell everyone you know that you're no longer tolerating boring humans. Together, we can change cycle sport forever.
