We haven't bitched about any films in a while

Published by Halverde on 3/15/2007 at 09:53.

Film preview: Tour de Frank

It's a comedy about pro cycling that's due to come out in 2009 if the IMDB is to be believed. Which is fine because we like both cycling AND comedy, and the content of this website frequently suggests we're capable of waiting a long time for either one. But Tour de Frank is being produced by the guy who directed Bruce Almighty, a film about a man (played by that goofy-faced overacting twat, Jim Carey) who gains the power of God and uses it to get a new car, with the overall moral that it's a good idea to train your dog to piss in the street, not on your sofa. So we don't have high hopes.

    Things we expect to see in Tour de Frank:
  • Ninety minutes of utter bombardment of "hilarious" lycra based humour, probably involving very fat people, very skinny people, and an erect wang

  • Lots of racist stereotypes about French people

  • Something to do with drugs. But our hero will prevail.

Official not-even-seen-it-yet-but-it'll-be-shit rating
2/10

Recent vitriol


Which cyclists have we libelled this month?

These ones haven't aged well


Much like Laurent Brochard

Some old updates that aren't entirely awful


And there'll be even more coming to this spot just as soon as we can be bothered trawling through our somewhat embarrassing archives.

Script extracts, because these seem to be popular for some reason

Simon and Anthony


Nigel and company


Johnathan & friends, even though they're always last with the news and the website is horrible


Dutch cyclists we like because they're better/more attractive than British riders

Bobke Strut is so good that it deserves a category of its own

Arrr, bike pirates

George!

Things we hate so much we're not even going to link to them

  • Trust But Verify
  • Trek
  • Assos

Our e-mail inbox isn't just for Japanese gambling promotions and the latest advances in penis enlargement chemistry, you know

What's the word "derailed" got to do with bikes anyway?

  • Err... bikes have things called derailleurs? Apart from track bikes, which don't.

If derailleurs evolved from fixies, how come there are still fixies?

  • Survival of the fixest.


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DerailedUK 2006-2007.
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