A quite long thing about a not-so-late night out in London
Published by Halverde on 6/25/2007 at 10:05.
We went to the Smithfield Nocturne, and now we're going to write a review of it even though we didn't take any photographs and can't really think of that much we can say about it that'll be very funny.
Smithfield Nocturne Official Race Review
Like all of our nights out, it started well before quickly descending into a sordid mess of feasting on unhealthy food, drinking beer that costs more per pint than our entire weekly shopping budget, and huddling together with complete strangers in doorways to avoid torrential rain. You can tell how good an event it's been by how loudly you tell your phone to shut up for ringing at 11am the following morning.
We got ourselves perfectly positioned to see an horrific crash on the finishing line of the first event. It was all very exciting, especially since we were perched on a railing over a 30ft drop. Someone won, but we can't remember who.
Later came the messenger race, which we were looking forward to because we actually genuinely love butchered track bikes. It would've been better if we understood what the hell was going on, but we just cheered the riders on fixies and looked distainfully at anybody with a derailleur.
Next up was the obviously-stolen-from-us folding bike race. But we can't prove the extent to which the idea was plagiarised because we didn't see any of it. There was rain, and we were on the phone.
The night finished with a criterium for riders that cycling fans have actually heard of. During the announcements there was a man shouting at Rob Hayles. It wasn't us, even though we got some dirty looks because we were stood next to him giggling. The actual race was very good, but we're bored of writing this and someone else has probably already done a comprehensive race report anyway.
The best bit
When a group of drunken men stumbled out of a bar on the course just as the final criterium was finishing and one slurred in shock, "How long's this been going on?! (pause) You know what this is? The Toe de France. The Toe. Du. France. They've been advertising it everwhere." Presumably they'd been in the bar for a long, long time before the event started at 5pm, and hadn't planned to leave before the 7th of July.
"Famous" people we saw
David Millar
Matt Seaton
Anthony McCrossan
Brian Smith
...but the last two don't really count since see them every day now that we've "arrived"
Not so famous -- but still quite good -- people we saw
Fran Millar
Bob Barber
Simon Brydon
That guy who always says "Hi" to us, and even though we know he's important we don't actually know who he is
Conclusion
Best race ever, 10/10, etc. We can't wait to get rained on at the Tour prologue.
Smithfield Nocturne Official Race Review
Like all of our nights out, it started well before quickly descending into a sordid mess of feasting on unhealthy food, drinking beer that costs more per pint than our entire weekly shopping budget, and huddling together with complete strangers in doorways to avoid torrential rain. You can tell how good an event it's been by how loudly you tell your phone to shut up for ringing at 11am the following morning.
We got ourselves perfectly positioned to see an horrific crash on the finishing line of the first event. It was all very exciting, especially since we were perched on a railing over a 30ft drop. Someone won, but we can't remember who.
Later came the messenger race, which we were looking forward to because we actually genuinely love butchered track bikes. It would've been better if we understood what the hell was going on, but we just cheered the riders on fixies and looked distainfully at anybody with a derailleur.
Next up was the obviously-stolen-from-us folding bike race. But we can't prove the extent to which the idea was plagiarised because we didn't see any of it. There was rain, and we were on the phone.
The night finished with a criterium for riders that cycling fans have actually heard of. During the announcements there was a man shouting at Rob Hayles. It wasn't us, even though we got some dirty looks because we were stood next to him giggling. The actual race was very good, but we're bored of writing this and someone else has probably already done a comprehensive race report anyway.
The best bit
When a group of drunken men stumbled out of a bar on the course just as the final criterium was finishing and one slurred in shock, "How long's this been going on?! (pause) You know what this is? The Toe de France. The Toe. Du. France. They've been advertising it everwhere." Presumably they'd been in the bar for a long, long time before the event started at 5pm, and hadn't planned to leave before the 7th of July.
"Famous" people we saw
David Millar
Matt Seaton
Anthony McCrossan
Brian Smith
...but the last two don't really count since see them every day now that we've "arrived"
Not so famous -- but still quite good -- people we saw
Fran Millar
Bob Barber
Simon Brydon
That guy who always says "Hi" to us, and even though we know he's important we don't actually know who he is
Conclusion
Best race ever, 10/10, etc. We can't wait to get rained on at the Tour prologue.
