Some cropped and resized stuff about that Giro d'Italia thing
Published by Halverde on 6/09/2007 at 09:03.
We're back! It's been a week and a day since we last updated this site, which makes it the longest we've ever ignored the site for, we think. Blame it on all the time we've wasted camping in fields full of cows and flies, getting trains to distant places to ask for jobs, and sitting on a bright yellow sofa. Nothing wrong with yellow sofas, unless you're a goth or don't live in the late 1960s.
Looking back at the week's news, we're kind of glad we gave it a miss anyway. Frank Frank Vandenbroucke's suicide attempt; Quick Step being busted (as opposed to Quick Step being Busted, as a follow up to their brief stint as Metallica); and higher powers deciding to take Bjarne Riis's Tour win away as a token gesture, despite the fact that nobody in the world is under the illusion that it'll actually solve ANYTHING.
But we have to write about something, just to prove to any newcomers that we really are the UK's best cycling website, and not just a stupid blog obsessed with folding bikes and Tom Boonen. So we're going to steal some images from Cycling News and write some sort of race report about the Giro d'Italia, even though we're already quite bored of the computer and should probably be looking for a bedsit in London.
Giro d'Italia photoreview
Stage 1: The race opened with a randomly ordered hilly team time trial. We should've known it'd be a classic. Di Luca demonstrated his "It's not fair, I'm the team leader, I wanted the pink jersey" face as Gasparotto rolled in ahead of him.
Stage 3: Petacchi took the stage, proving he was back to his best. He took five stages in total, even though this really, really wasn't a Giro for the sprinters. As a reward, he finally got shown that video of the girl pooing live eels into another girl's mouth.
Stage 4: Di Luca won, cementing his position as a favourite for the overall. We don't like his face.
Stage 7: The stage finished on the Mugello race track, which is such a brilliant, brilliant, stupid idea. More of this, please. Could be our latest ill-conceived obsession.
Stage 8: Ricardo Ricco totally got bullied.
Stage 9: We've stolen more images than we can possibly be bothered writing summaries about. This one looks like a sprint.
Stage 11: Finished on actual ice. Bound to turn up on A Question of Sport sooner or later.
Stage 12: We invented fisheye cycling photography. Someone owes us some royalties.
Stage 13: There was a mountain time trial, but it wasn't that interesting and more or less decided the race winner with a week to go.
Stage 14: Garzelli won. For the first time in two whole weeks, Simoni got to accuse someone of cheating.
Stage 15: Ricardo Ricco took the stage and finally cracked his boring, sour gaze on the podium to briefly show us his sex face.
Stage 16: We were going to post that photo of Salvatore Commesso wearing a shower cap over his helmet to keep the rain off. Garzelli eventually won the stage, but Eurosport thought tennis was more important so nobody really knows for sure. This image is us being "funny" about the whole situation.
Stage 17: The queen stage. Simoni dropped Di Luca, Piepoli proved himself the most selflessly capable climber in the race, and Cunego earned a few Euros dragging Di Luca up the mountain behind. Fascinating, even if the time gaps didn't quite reflect all the media hype about the final climb. That almost sounds like a proper summary, which could be a worring reflection of how we're becoming "institution".
Stage 18: Filippo Pozzato had a giggle with Danilo Di Luca about us saying our eventual race winner would only finish 15th. You won't be laughing when we're stalking you at the Tour of Britain again, Pippo.
Stage 19: Does anybody know where to buy spoons? We had to fashion one out of a cereal box to eat our Shreddies, but it went all soggy. We stole one from a pub later on but then lost it, so that's a bit rubbish.
Stage 20: There was a time trial. It wasn't very exciting really, but it did cause a couple of big changes in the GC. This is satisfactory.
Stage 21: Overall race rating 8/10. Pretty boss. That vase will never hold any water in though.
Next week
Not a lot, in all likelihood. But we'll try to put SOMETHING up here to maintain the illusion that this is a functioning website.
Looking back at the week's news, we're kind of glad we gave it a miss anyway. Frank Frank Vandenbroucke's suicide attempt; Quick Step being busted (as opposed to Quick Step being Busted, as a follow up to their brief stint as Metallica); and higher powers deciding to take Bjarne Riis's Tour win away as a token gesture, despite the fact that nobody in the world is under the illusion that it'll actually solve ANYTHING.
But we have to write about something, just to prove to any newcomers that we really are the UK's best cycling website, and not just a stupid blog obsessed with folding bikes and Tom Boonen. So we're going to steal some images from Cycling News and write some sort of race report about the Giro d'Italia, even though we're already quite bored of the computer and should probably be looking for a bedsit in London.
Giro d'Italia photoreview
Stage 1: The race opened with a randomly ordered hilly team time trial. We should've known it'd be a classic. Di Luca demonstrated his "It's not fair, I'm the team leader, I wanted the pink jersey" face as Gasparotto rolled in ahead of him.
Stage 3: Petacchi took the stage, proving he was back to his best. He took five stages in total, even though this really, really wasn't a Giro for the sprinters. As a reward, he finally got shown that video of the girl pooing live eels into another girl's mouth.
Stage 4: Di Luca won, cementing his position as a favourite for the overall. We don't like his face.
Stage 7: The stage finished on the Mugello race track, which is such a brilliant, brilliant, stupid idea. More of this, please. Could be our latest ill-conceived obsession.
Stage 8: Ricardo Ricco totally got bullied.
Stage 9: We've stolen more images than we can possibly be bothered writing summaries about. This one looks like a sprint.
Stage 11: Finished on actual ice. Bound to turn up on A Question of Sport sooner or later.
Stage 12: We invented fisheye cycling photography. Someone owes us some royalties.
Stage 13: There was a mountain time trial, but it wasn't that interesting and more or less decided the race winner with a week to go.
Stage 14: Garzelli won. For the first time in two whole weeks, Simoni got to accuse someone of cheating.
Stage 15: Ricardo Ricco took the stage and finally cracked his boring, sour gaze on the podium to briefly show us his sex face.
Stage 16: We were going to post that photo of Salvatore Commesso wearing a shower cap over his helmet to keep the rain off. Garzelli eventually won the stage, but Eurosport thought tennis was more important so nobody really knows for sure. This image is us being "funny" about the whole situation.
Stage 17: The queen stage. Simoni dropped Di Luca, Piepoli proved himself the most selflessly capable climber in the race, and Cunego earned a few Euros dragging Di Luca up the mountain behind. Fascinating, even if the time gaps didn't quite reflect all the media hype about the final climb. That almost sounds like a proper summary, which could be a worring reflection of how we're becoming "institution".
Stage 18: Filippo Pozzato had a giggle with Danilo Di Luca about us saying our eventual race winner would only finish 15th. You won't be laughing when we're stalking you at the Tour of Britain again, Pippo.
Stage 19: Does anybody know where to buy spoons? We had to fashion one out of a cereal box to eat our Shreddies, but it went all soggy. We stole one from a pub later on but then lost it, so that's a bit rubbish.
Stage 20: There was a time trial. It wasn't very exciting really, but it did cause a couple of big changes in the GC. This is satisfactory.
Stage 21: Overall race rating 8/10. Pretty boss. That vase will never hold any water in though.
Next week
Not a lot, in all likelihood. But we'll try to put SOMETHING up here to maintain the illusion that this is a functioning website.
