World Cup Waving, London leg: French team performance analysis

Britain may have invented waving -- in the now well-known story of the Feudal lord who determined he needed a way to differentiate himself from his knights in order to find a prospective sex partner at social gatherings -- but the country has long been off the radar in the demanding sport of professional waving. Hosting a round of the Waving World Cup, its first visit to Britain since 1994, still couldn't see the small nation impress enough to raise the profile of the sport in Anglophone nations.

Today we analyse the performance of surprise runaway leaders France, as part of a run up to the World Championships.


The tournament started well for France. In the 7.9km dash, the relay team were able to deliver a perfect iteration of the complex "dual wave".


And in the Emergency Services round that followed, France again stole the show. The gendarmes had no trouble with coaxing the audience into participation in the easy to do, but difficult to attain, "mass wave".


This fine performance in the warm-up period demonstrated the extent to which France have improved in the world of professional waving. As well as a perfect "from the wrist" wave, the girls were able to showboat to the extent of filming the wave itself. On top of delighting the millions of people who had turned up on London's city streets, the maneuver also allows for further analysis at one of France's famously strict training camps.



In the Giant Boy, Teddy Bear and Massive Chicken round, the team put in a confident performance to finish in a solid fourth place.



But Les Bleus saved the best until last. In the sport's most prestigious event, Macy Dupont dominated procedings, leaving all other competitors in her wake. Only the former world champions Italy could finish within 15 points of her.


And she's delighted!

However, France did not have it all their own way.



Having received low scores for her initial, uninspired catenacchio wave in the third qualifying round, Marie Chevaux was subsequently disqualified for the use of an illegal pointing gesture.


Despite trying to counterbalance the heterosexual tedium of a bride and groom pairing by including some kind of 17th Century transvestite on their truck in the Subvert An Ideology round, France once again failed to impress in their bugbear event.


In the Lunatic Round, the team incurred a harsh two-year ban for the demonstration of a clenched left fist in place of a traditional wave -- a symbol of rebellion. Due to the timing of the ban, France will not be eligible to compete in further Lunatic Round waving until the 2009 World Championships.


Jeanne Jambon finished a disappointing 16th. With fewer than three weeks to go before the World Championships in Paris, there is precious little time to improve her performance.

A closing joke

What's got six legs and a... Oh, never mind.


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