A really fast folding bike
Published by Halverde on 2/27/2007 at 19:20.
We love folding bikes. We love their tiny little wheels, and the way that we've never ever actually seen anyone bother to fold one up in real life.
Apparently this one folds quite quickly. We wouldn't know. It definitely doesn't look at all awkward to ride or carry, that's for sure.
Apparently this one folds quite quickly. We wouldn't know. It definitely doesn't look at all awkward to ride or carry, that's for sure.
Even more Track rubbish
Published by Halverde on 2/24/2007 at 23:34.
Three posts in one day from the website that's already twenty days overdue on its promised monthly magazine review feature because its writers have been too busy to even read the magazines in question? Oh, go on then. But only because we might as well make the most of it if we're going to be spending the weekend in the velodrome instead of doing things that are actually important.
We had a really funny and clever story to tell, but we've completely forgotten what it was. Probably something to do with how much we want to see Yvonne Hijgenaar's knickers. Here's Chris Hoy instead.
This is the view from the media seating. No dancing girls, no x-ray specs. No anything other than a bench to pile your laptop (as well as your newspaper, binoculars and mobile phone in our case) on. Plus you have to sit next to the people from CyclingNews.com. Media accreditation official rating: 2/10
We had a brief game of "See how many cameramen you can photograph from behind before one of them notices". We managed one (1). This is the biggest disappointment of the whole World Cup round, for sure. Let us know how many photos you can manage.
MEDIA SCRUM. We tried to get one of those "Look at the stupid media, all standing in the same place, taking the same photograph" pictures that we're famous for, but we couldn't be bothered leaving our seat. One day we'll get an ironic photo of someone taking an ironic photo of the cycling media bunching together. One day.
Official rating
7/10. Good racing, but a bit hot and that. Not enough Theo Bos, either.
We had a really funny and clever story to tell, but we've completely forgotten what it was. Probably something to do with how much we want to see Yvonne Hijgenaar's knickers. Here's Chris Hoy instead.
This is the view from the media seating. No dancing girls, no x-ray specs. No anything other than a bench to pile your laptop (as well as your newspaper, binoculars and mobile phone in our case) on. Plus you have to sit next to the people from CyclingNews.com. Media accreditation official rating: 2/10
We had a brief game of "See how many cameramen you can photograph from behind before one of them notices". We managed one (1). This is the biggest disappointment of the whole World Cup round, for sure. Let us know how many photos you can manage.
MEDIA SCRUM. We tried to get one of those "Look at the stupid media, all standing in the same place, taking the same photograph" pictures that we're famous for, but we couldn't be bothered leaving our seat. One day we'll get an ironic photo of someone taking an ironic photo of the cycling media bunching together. One day.
Official rating
7/10. Good racing, but a bit hot and that. Not enough Theo Bos, either.
More "live" Saturday track action
Published by Halverde on at 19:12.
Welcome to the second "live" session of today's Track World Cup session. The last one just kind of fizzled out because we got bored and killed time on MSN Messenger instead, but we're sure that won't happen tonight. No, really.
Men's Sprint
If it's NOT Hoy against Tournant in the final, we'll be surprised. Very surprised. Nothing else is happening. Women's team sprint qualifying: Not really that interesting. (Turns out we were right. As usual.)
Team pursuit
A UCI commissaire we talked to said the GB squad will do a 3:57. But a famous, very successful ex-rider who seemed fairly disintered in talking to us informed us that it'll all fall to pieces tonight. WHO WILL BE RIGHT? It's about a million degrees celsius here at the moment, so whatever happens the time should still be super fast. (Turns out nobody was right. That's the last time we ever trust the idle gossip we overhear in corridors.)
Men's Points Race Final
Nope, no idea what's going on. We sent an excitable text message to someone because we thought there was a person called "Klunge" riding, but it turned out he was actually called "Kluge". There really are NO scoops to be had here today.
More live updates as and when we can be bothered to pay attention to the racing
Men's Sprint
If it's NOT Hoy against Tournant in the final, we'll be surprised. Very surprised. Nothing else is happening. Women's team sprint qualifying: Not really that interesting. (Turns out we were right. As usual.)
Team pursuit
A UCI commissaire we talked to said the GB squad will do a 3:57. But a famous, very successful ex-rider who seemed fairly disintered in talking to us informed us that it'll all fall to pieces tonight. WHO WILL BE RIGHT? It's about a million degrees celsius here at the moment, so whatever happens the time should still be super fast. (Turns out nobody was right. That's the last time we ever trust the idle gossip we overhear in corridors.)
Men's Points Race Final
Nope, no idea what's going on. We sent an excitable text message to someone because we thought there was a person called "Klunge" riding, but it turned out he was actually called "Kluge". There really are NO scoops to be had here today.
More live updates as and when we can be bothered to pay attention to the racing
Live not-very-interesting update from the Track World Cup
Published by Halverde on at 15:03.
This is our first attempt at one of those live update things like the ones that we've seen on other, better websites. We've forgotten our USB cable, so we're going to have to actually write without uploading any photographs. We're sure we used to do updates that weren't just sarcastic comments about images, so hopefully we'll be able to manage.
Freaks. Everywhere.
But mainly on the door. Hello to the security guard to insisted that we needed a pass to get to the press room to pick up our accreditation. It took a team of several velodrome staff, plus the person escorting us to the press room, to explain the quite simple, quite normal situation to him -- namely that you don't need a pass to get to the room where they give you your pass.
Don't make us choose
Our two all-time favouritest women ever, Vicky Pendleton and Yvonne Hijgenaar, have just had to race against each other in the final heat of the time-trial. We knew we couldn't keep stringing them both along forever, but we never dreamed it'd come to this. Vicky won, by the way.
Team Pursuit qualifying FUN/PUN
100% ME are busy tearing the competition apart (although admitedly the "competition" so far has only consisted of Ireland, Belarus and Lithuania). It's very impressive for a team made up of kids afflicted with the yuppy flu. That's a joke about the medical condition ME. How witty of us. This is what happens when we get free internet access and no quality control other than Cycling Weekly's correspondent occasionally looking over our shoulder.
Stay tuned for more updates! We think we might have to click "edit" to make it do it or something, but we'll totally work it out, maybe.
Freaks. Everywhere.
But mainly on the door. Hello to the security guard to insisted that we needed a pass to get to the press room to pick up our accreditation. It took a team of several velodrome staff, plus the person escorting us to the press room, to explain the quite simple, quite normal situation to him -- namely that you don't need a pass to get to the room where they give you your pass.
Don't make us choose
Our two all-time favouritest women ever, Vicky Pendleton and Yvonne Hijgenaar, have just had to race against each other in the final heat of the time-trial. We knew we couldn't keep stringing them both along forever, but we never dreamed it'd come to this. Vicky won, by the way.
Team Pursuit qualifying FUN/PUN
100% ME are busy tearing the competition apart (although admitedly the "competition" so far has only consisted of Ireland, Belarus and Lithuania). It's very impressive for a team made up of kids afflicted with the yuppy flu. That's a joke about the medical condition ME. How witty of us. This is what happens when we get free internet access and no quality control other than Cycling Weekly's correspondent occasionally looking over our shoulder.
Stay tuned for more updates! We think we might have to click "edit" to make it do it or something, but we'll totally work it out, maybe.
Sigh. Go on then.
Published by Halverde on 2/22/2007 at 15:34.
Here's a super special review of BikeCircle.com that we're only doing so they'll stop sending us e-mails telling us to mention their site.
What do dromidaries have to do with cycling? Apparently enough for a llama shaped thing to be on the front page of the site. This one isn't quite as good as the camel Oscar Pereiro raced against.
The forums are a bit barren and we don't really understand what anybody is talking about. But at least it's not VeloRiders.
The site is crammed full with all that web 2.0 functionality stuff that's all about interacting with virtual environments and sharing ideas and whinging about your school friends. It's like MySpace for cyclists, only better because you're less likely to get a million friend requests from floppy-haired, leather jacket clad bands with a token fat female bass player.
Conclusion
Official score: 9/10, mainly because we keep appearing on the "featured members" section on the front page. We're all for the idea of a global cycling community, even if it means that we might have to actually speak to some cycling fans. If you sign up, make sure to add us to your friends list so we get the fun opportunity to pretend not to be frightened when you start telling us how we're the only site who say what you're really thinking and maybe we should go for a drink with you at your local in Ashby De La Zouch.
What do dromidaries have to do with cycling? Apparently enough for a llama shaped thing to be on the front page of the site. This one isn't quite as good as the camel Oscar Pereiro raced against.
The forums are a bit barren and we don't really understand what anybody is talking about. But at least it's not VeloRiders.
The site is crammed full with all that web 2.0 functionality stuff that's all about interacting with virtual environments and sharing ideas and whinging about your school friends. It's like MySpace for cyclists, only better because you're less likely to get a million friend requests from floppy-haired, leather jacket clad bands with a token fat female bass player.
Conclusion
Official score: 9/10, mainly because we keep appearing on the "featured members" section on the front page. We're all for the idea of a global cycling community, even if it means that we might have to actually speak to some cycling fans. If you sign up, make sure to add us to your friends list so we get the fun opportunity to pretend not to be frightened when you start telling us how we're the only site who say what you're really thinking and maybe we should go for a drink with you at your local in Ashby De La Zouch.
Massive publicity stunt in California
Published by Halverde on 2/20/2007 at 00:11.
No EPO testing at the Tour of California! Which is sponsored by a company that manufactures EPO! Shock! Horror!
Even the most inventive publicity stunt-cum-scandal can't make anyone care about that pointless little race. Paolo Bettini's only there for the sun and the appearance fee and the chance to meet Elisa Basso.
Even the most inventive publicity stunt-cum-scandal can't make anyone care about that pointless little race. Paolo Bettini's only there for the sun and the appearance fee and the chance to meet Elisa Basso.
The Birdy Rohloff folding bike
Published by Halverde on 2/16/2007 at 23:36.
Amazing new folding bike unveiled.
We like the ungainly square bits. They'll look brilliant when we're struggling to make it go faster than 12mph.
P.S.
Graham McDermott explains why Birdy bikes aren't quite as good as Moultons.
We like the ungainly square bits. They'll look brilliant when we're struggling to make it go faster than 12mph.
P.S.
Graham McDermott explains why Birdy bikes aren't quite as good as Moultons.
Disco Fervor
Published by Webmarmstrong on 2/12/2007 at 13:31.
It seems our "Disco is dead" update on Sunday amused some people, even though it was just a not-very-good pun that we were padding the site out with. And so, in honour of the semi-interesting news that Discovery Channel will be no more at the end of the season, our audio-visual team have apparently created a fitting tribute video. Don't worry, we didn't know we had an audio-visual team either.
Without further adieu, here's the video. We think this might count as one of those "meme" things? Please do whatever it is you have to do to make us rich from it.
Without further adieu, here's the video. We think this might count as one of those "meme" things? Please do whatever it is you have to do to make us rich from it.
Uni uncertaincy
Published by Halverde on 2/11/2007 at 19:05.
Massive controversy in France
Mentioning gambling in France is illegal. Or at least, it is for this year. We've no idea who this guy is (presumably because we don't know enough about cycling), but we certainly admire his style in haphazardly blotting out the offending "bet". In a hundred years, when we're as old as him and working for a cycling team, we'll be doing the exact same sort of things.
Some things that begin with "uni" that we prefer to betting
- Unicycles
- Unicorns
- Unitards
- Unilateral thoughts
- Universities
- Parallel universes
Disco is dead
Published by Halverde on 2/10/2007 at 22:27.
That's right, Discovery Channel have withdrawn their sponsorship of the team, starting from the end of this season. All it really means to us is a couple of weeks at the beginning of 2008 where we forget the new name of that team we hate, so it's not such a big deal. In fact, we're only really reporting it because we liked the "Disco is dead" headline.
Other things that are dead
Other things that are dead
- The spider who lived inside our double glazed window
- Jade Goody's career
- Our hopes of ever getting a job in the cycling media
Monkeys on bikes! And for once we don't mean Landis
Published by Webmarmstrong on 2/09/2007 at 23:01.
DerailedUK's usual writing team are trekking around peru in search of a llama with a fondness for two-wheeled leg-propelled vehicles. Or something. Until then, the shiny blue handlebars will rest in a different pair of hands. Normal service of dick jokes will not be interupted by this change.
First of all
The Los Angeles Times has reported the names of the arbitrators in Pink Floyd Landis’ upcoming hearing on May 14th before the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA). The (alleged) drug monkey has asked for Christopher Campbell (a former Olympic wrestler) whereas the Organ grinders have got Richard McLaren (not to be confused with a McLaren F1) serving them.This strikes us as rather odd.Who does Landis ask for? He asked for someone who’s from a sport dominated by steroids, drugs and other body enhancing substances – Genius.
In more important news
Bands of Hell monkeys causing terror
One concerned reader has e-mailed in this alarming picture of a dangerous simian cycling crew. Maybe the chav-chimps are out to destroy the cycling world using “gorilla tactics”? Whatever their motives, we've gone “ape” over this shocking revelation.
First of all
The Los Angeles Times has reported the names of the arbitrators in Pink Floyd Landis’ upcoming hearing on May 14th before the US Anti-Doping Agency (USADA). The (alleged) drug monkey has asked for Christopher Campbell (a former Olympic wrestler) whereas the Organ grinders have got Richard McLaren (not to be confused with a McLaren F1) serving them.This strikes us as rather odd.Who does Landis ask for? He asked for someone who’s from a sport dominated by steroids, drugs and other body enhancing substances – Genius.
In more important news
Bands of Hell monkeys causing terror
One concerned reader has e-mailed in this alarming picture of a dangerous simian cycling crew. Maybe the chav-chimps are out to destroy the cycling world using “gorilla tactics”? Whatever their motives, we've gone “ape” over this shocking revelation.
No, sumo wrestlers are NOT animals
Published by Halverde on 2/07/2007 at 23:02.
Tour of Qatar spoiler: Boonen wins things
Published by Halverde on 2/02/2007 at 21:42.
Review
Sand.
SAND.
The scenery is mostly dull, apart from when there's a shot of a row of men in turbans or a couple of camels. But the racing has been pretty good, actually. Boonen's been winning and that. 10/10
It's on Cycling.tv for free, in case you care. All we seem to do is plug their channel nowadays, but we assure you we're still 100% independent, and definitely not on their payroll (yet).
Sand.
SAND.
The scenery is mostly dull, apart from when there's a shot of a row of men in turbans or a couple of camels. But the racing has been pretty good, actually. Boonen's been winning and that. 10/10
It's on Cycling.tv for free, in case you care. All we seem to do is plug their channel nowadays, but we assure you we're still 100% independent, and definitely not on their payroll (yet).
